Listening skills are an enormous factor in communication. On average, humans spend 45% of their time listening versus only 16% reading. Possessing good listening skills can help improve personal and professional relationships as well as promote trust and confidence.
Some people seem to have been born great listeners, but listening skills can also be honed.
Here are some listening skills exercises for you to practice:
Maintain eye contact
When someone is speaking, they’re also looking for clues in your body language that tells them how you’re receiving their words. Looking away, fidgeting, looking at your feet or busying yourself with other tasks will disconnect you from the person speaking to you. By maintaining eye contact, you increase your ability to concentrate on what the speaker is saying and create a comfortable space for the speaker to feel heard.
Practice empathy
The best listeners are able to get inside the other person’s point of view. Why are they saying what they’re saying? What’s their background? What do they want to accomplish with their words? Everyone has different ways of communicating. A good listener is also a good empathizer. They’re able to translate what a person is saying by applying what they know about the person or the person’s situation.
Pay attention to body language
Just as the speaker will be reading your body language to find out how you’re receiving what they’re saying, you should also pay attention to physical cues. Do they seem agitated, nervous, eager? There are many situations in which people may say one thing while the true meaning is something else. Whether they’re intentionally deceiving you or trying to be diplomatic, someone’s body language often foretells their true intentions even if their words say something else.
Listen to their tone
Tone of voice can also tell you a lot about how a person is feeling. If they’re nervous, angry, excited, assured, these things will often come through in their voice. Identifying this will also allow you to decipher the rest of their message.
Create images
If you can create a mental image of what the speaker is describing, it can help you keep your focus. By doing this, you’re also actively engaging with their thoughts rather than tuning out or thinking of your own responses and ideas. A mental image will also stick with you after the conversation is over, allowing you to revisit it for future reference.
Identify main ideas
While it’s important to pay attention to everything the speaker is saying, some speakers have a tendency to ramble or talk around a subject. You won’t always have the luck to communicate with people who “speak your language” (i.e. communicate in the same way as you do) or who are eloquent speakers. When listening to someone, try to identify the main ideas they’re expressing.
Don’t interrupt
Obviously good listeners practice listening. By interrupting, you send the message that the speaker is boring you or not as intelligent as you are. By allowing someone to finish and not interrupt them, you’re sending the message that their idea is important to you and worth your time. Interrupting also takes someone off their train of thought and you may be responding too early to an idea they haven’t finished explaining yet. Allowing someone to finish is a sign of respect and also can ease the flow of a conversation by allowing the speaker to complete their idea.
Ask questions during pauses
If the speaker pauses for you to speak or asks you what your opinion is, take this opportunity to speak. During this time, avoid changing the subject, criticizing the person’s idea or interposing your own idea. Instead, ask clarifying questions to ensure you’ve understood their point of view. You may want to say something like, “Correct me if I’m wrong, but what I hear you saying is…” or “It seems you’re saying that you think…is that correct?” This allows the speaker to adjust your understanding if it was wrong so you can continue the discussion on the same track.
A good listener not only listens to the words someone is speaking but reads their body language and tone of voice. They take the time to let someone finish speaking and ask clarifying questions to make sure they’ve understood what someone is trying to communicate. By practicing these skills, you’ll increase your listening skills which can provide you with great results in your personal and professional life.
